Tuesday, December 23, 2008

About bein myself. as Ramadhan.

this yet to be the most personal post. ahahhahahah sound soo dirrty plak ahahhahah. but i'm gonna tell you the truth. coz lately i was freaked out by my own will to be who dat is i'm not. to be unRamadhan. it was a big mistake for lettin myself caged and to be someone that i am not

lately i felt like aging has taken over me withour prior notice. i was quit though in reality this is soo fcukin not gonna happened but, i was quiet. i dun mix around with people, rather intimidated to the crowd which never happened in my life b4 coz i will just talk to anyone, gay lesbian name it i did talk to all. but ........ what got into me?

maybe because i'm the kinda guy who take career though part time as sumthin to make me freakin serious. i go by the rules, betul la tp x bergaul. it was during training of volunteer program. i looked at them, they were outspoken, which is sumthin that is not neu to my personality, i got confused. i got scared. if people from uitm specifically my frens bumped into me durin training, they will sumhow know some shit is happenin. that is not who i am.

for those who dun really kno me, i'm the kinda person who enters the class and light will go bright. coz i always enter early soo i switch on la hahahahahhahaha. i will sing, i will shake my booty to whatever beat to satisfy my inner desire, to let my personality shines thru. not to tarik perhatian ok. never. but it came with the package. alhamdulillah

during the seminar in impiana klcc for volunteer, i said to myself, relax, let you be you. dont be not yourself just becoz u dun wanna people to get freaked out with ur personality. and yes i did.

i was the only one brave enuff to ask question. during the first slot of the seminar, where others bein thinkin of what the hotel serves for breakfast, i let my curiosity side of me to stand out. coz i only want answers. i no longer shaken by the fact that i need to use microphone to make a speech. its more of an honour i take it that way. i laughed the loudest coz i own the loudest laugh bukan nk menunjuk or poyo2 but i'm natural.

ended up the day with a stroll to pavilion bkt bintang. with a smile in the heart. and alhamdulillah the earlier volunteers mostly accepted me. though few cant. what do i care


2 pujaans:

Nur Farahin said...

"i'm the kinda person who enters the class and light will go bright. coz i always enter early soo i switch on la hahahahahhahaha."

bongok. hahahhaaha

ear_fun said...

stuju sgt weh
if kita nk kena be nor us,
xka itu namanya hipokrit?