Wednesday, October 20, 2010

being a tall person

ahahaha finally someone requested a topic rather relevant to myself ahaha. to begin the blorg posting. ALHAMDULILLAH to be able to grow to such height that has gave me an advantage to find people in the the departmental store like Isetan, since i stand higher than others, its easier to spot on SMALL PEOPLE ahahahaha.

this topic is HIGHLY suggested by the small shorty guy ahaha ( h
e must be freakin' mad ):


by the way he's 168cm ahaha or 171cm. basically i hav no idea who the hell is he other than to know that he's my hiskool junior's cousin and i got no waddaheck idea how i actually contacted him on facebook. recently he made a statement in facebook saying dat he is the tallest in the class. i was curious i did ask. how tall are u actually?? ahah. he's 10cm shorter than me ahaha sorry. for men perks on being tall: big and long penis ahaha

he requested: living in the fantasy of being a tall person

dear fayee, can i blorg this topic using myself as the subject?? ahaha i got no one to reflect on and since i gonna have to wake up early tomorrow i need to make it quick. few things that i need to stress out here for being tall:
  • u can easily be spotted my mafia/ahlong/criminal/chucky if ur standing in a crowd
  • eventually u'll suffered back ache. and back ache aint nice, i took pills when i was 14
  • like for me, i'm vertebrate tall/long backbone/long abdomen, its really hard to get a fine t shirt. trust me it will lead to frustration everytime ur in factory outlet/chiaokit/mydin
but the rest is just PERKS:
  • being tall can really boost up ur confidence to as high as KLCC, or even gunung kinabalu
  • if someone try to be a bitch towards u, u'll know that fella will never grow tall
  • for men tall men means long penis ahaha yeah its true
but the tak berape best part:
  • u'll be the one fixing the curtain every single raye every year
  • u have to replace the battery of the clock hanging on the wall
  • u have to clean up the sesawang on the ceiling
  • u have to rub the black board in skool ahahaha
but one thing i'm still furious till today...... is HER!!!!

ok guys watch ur erection ahahaa, i purposely put up this particular photo, very saucy very sultry very exposed huahua. what i never like about her, she's 5 cm taller than me


i was highly pissed off and furious knowing about her winning the miss universe 2003 title. first of all:

  1. i always believe that only venezuela deserves to win miss universe title since the world's most beautiful women are produce daily in a farm from that country ahaha
  2. she is taller than me. she is taller than me. i just cant accept the fact. arghh
  3. and she beat miss venezuela to 2nd place. super furious my face is lightning red like iklan mee mamee
i was practically praying and hoping to grow as tall and highly hoping to be way taller than her. and i didnt. i stopped at 181cm. alhamdulillah. but i lost to a girl??? what???

from this day onwards. my strategy for my kids:
  1. my kids will be forced to churn steak everyday for protein supply to grow taller than that miss universe
  2. take on protein drink
  3. they have to think tall and be tall. wear high heels to skool
  4. but i want to put them into gymnastics intially, that will stunt the growth. arghhh
  5. i want my children to jump everyday for one hour to lengthen the limbs
  6. before sleep i will pull their legs to even stretch it further
  7. they have to sleep with leg braces. that will make them tall
ok my kids will be tall insyaAllah. anyone interested to try???

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

List of Petua petua orang tua

This post is requested by ( jeng jeng jeng ) : Atiyyah!!! my dearest pal, classmate by the way when i was still living and breathing in uitm penang ahaha. she supposed to further in medicine studies tapi pahal tah stranded in culinary arts course. i escaped. like always ahaha. and she's finishing too!! cant believe it. she hardly knows how to handle the chef knife and now she's creating wonders!!. anyone willing to propose to her and marry her, u can do so by hitting me on facebook with tonnes of moolahs in your pocket ahahaha

enough of her, this is my blorg, get out ahahahhaa. she knows me. i torture people with words. my speciality ahahaa. she requested:

"blorg la tentang petua-petua orang dulu"

and i was like, " kau nak kawen laki tua ke?" ahhaaha. ok basically i know how to put words in an arrangement that will agitate one's heart ahaha. but i basically dun really know much about petua2 ni. i need to do my research first. yahoo search. not google. google boring boo. ok found one:

  • Jaga mulut atasnya. Maksudnya jaga makan minumnya. ( what kinda crap talking?)
  • Jaga mulut bawahnya. Maksudnya jagalah kemahuan seksnya. ( wadda?? )
ohh shit its a 18sx petua untuk rumah tangga ahahha. ok next page pliz

'petua orang dulu dulu jaga kemaluan' WHAT???, next page.............

ok got it, good one if ur attending beauty pageant ahaha as said in the website

  • if ur attending a beauty pageant n out of nowhere chicken pox happens, try drink the young coconut juice and it will supress the pox b4 the pageant.
honestly speaking, golden age wisdom dont really seems to work these days. can they like prepare for what's catered for their grandchildren for the next hundred years?? as it seen it only functional if ur gonna participate in beauty pageant. yeah yeah last time its like tonnes of ratu kebaya contests going on and fuhhh ladies from the past got the curves dat will erupt an erection and yes it has extincted. even now malays are forbid to be in miss malaysia whatsoever beauty pageant. maybe it will be effective for dewi remaja and hero remaja competition?? i cant be in it im fat ahahahaha.

  • tips mengelakkan minyak terpecik ketika goreng: masukkan garam ke dalam minyak terlebih dahulu sebelom menggoreng

i just cant find the rationale behind this finding ahahaha. oil and salt. errmmm as i know salt can dehydrate and make a liquid more viscous, if there's presence of water. but its oil. ermmmm are u sure bout that. take my words. cover ur frying pan with something while frying something ahaha. or tips on not to burn ur skin while handling with chillies. simply dun touch it with bare hand. cover it up with sumthin, reindeer skin cooking gloves or something ahahahah.

  • paling tak boleh blah: jangan menyanyi semasa memasak, nanti dikhuatiri kawen lambat. what?????

just set the record straight. the person who derived this "petua" is a spinster or an andartu la in simple language. due to ur hobby in the kitchen, u put it all to blame for singing in the kitchen while cooking? or issit ur voice is not in the attractive range ahahaha. if barbecue is considered cooking, cannot sing issit? better what more people outdoor. we need to entertain ourselves.

moral of the story: dun simply come out with crazy bullshitty petua's that will haunt ur offsprings. ahaha like x boleh masuk tandas masa azan berkumandang. meaning i cant perform my ablution?? crazy people crazy ideas ahaha