Females are just too chatty

yeah. first blorg of the neu year. ahahhahahahahaha. Awal Muharram to all and happi '09 oh shit i'm turnin 19 in 2nd april. ahahahhahahah i am no growin older. had enuff. eewww its like melawan takdir. astaghfirullahalazim. soory ekk Faisal my blorg is more to sumthin relax and unimportant. i dun own da guts to post on the h2o thinggy since i dun get the concrete facts on it. je suis desolee. ahahahhahahaha.

beginning my year dis year which is a neu year which i anticipate the utmost important thing in my life dis year hahahahahhahaha i will begin by postin a post based on wat i've experienced on the 31st dec. ahahahhahahah like usual i woked up early, cooked like mad at the kitchen coz for time being i just couldnt afford lunch at klcc which will be fuckery expensive. like da cheapest shit is 5 hengget n if u insist on nasik campur, prepare to fork out 10 hengget++ mahal ya amat. ok. ready with my fud and off to the bus stop. dis account is real ok. yet edit abit coz i wasnt dat focus.

there was 2 ladies. old ones. ahahhahahaha Lady A n Lady B

Lady A: hey you kno yesterday the results pmr just came out
Lady B: yahh i kno my niece got 7As u kno
Lady A: also like my neighbours daughter also got 7 oso
Lady B: aiyoh u kno wat arr. my boss's youngest son only got 1A u kno. his frens keeps on callin to ask for results even i maloo to answer u kno
Lady A: ya lah usual la the youngest one sooo pampered dats why he's bodoh rite (suke2 jek nk cakap anak org bodo)
Lady B: dats why la everythin he also got. his mom sent him to soo many tuition yet still bad results. shes frustrated la now. ehhh, ur office dun give out 2009 calender issit?
Lady A: no la not after the recession aiyo everythin oso cut off. even calender oso cannot give.
if u got it anywhere from clients or wat arr give me some arr.
Lady B: OK i will. i dunno maybe they give. all those cheap calendar kuda aiyoohh. i like dat one u can put on the table. no wall calendar laa. not nice one
Lady A: ya lohh have to paku the dinding first. ehhh shila is not here issit. go to office by car ar?
Lady B: aiyah i oso dun kno la. u noticed shes gettin fatter rite?
Lady A: yahh i kno aiyo jus stay in office can get fat one mehh
Lady B: i oso got nothin to say la. her belly i tell u ssoo fat. ahahahahah

then the bus arrived. finally its about time. spoiled my mood to read the novel. by the way i read novels now. and nasri thinks i'm a freak to do so. shut up la ahahahhahahah. why why why why? u ladies got brain to figure out wat to do durin free time issit? and simply say bad things on othas. maybe the shila is pregnant ke. im not gonna spoil my neu years mood jus because of this shit piece. by the way the name is not shila. i forgot and the content is straight from wat i heard. luckily my wife is never like them. ahahahhahahahahahahhahaha

drivin to KL after afternoon prayer, hope i dun get lost, again. ahahhahahahhahahaha

What do i do when i think i'm smarter than others? but i stuck at somewhere people are just brainless!

Terima Kasih to Faisal Admar for livin the life of this blorg. thanx for suggestin this post. and i wanna kno u more. R u from uitm penang? hindek ko alam. wongga

i can fulfill the requirement of the first half of ur chosen topic. what do i do when i think i'm smarter than others. this happens alot to me and negative impact just bounce back 2 me since to have this kinda intention will backfire u back coz i practice high level of courtesy and selflessness. ahahahhaha. applied for cabin crew position tp x dpt. bongek kot.

where shud i begin. ok. like. in uitm. it was the colony of bumiputeras. coz only bumiputeras are allowed to enter it. no political basis in makin statement ok i just statin the fact. my soul was not there. grow up close to all walks of races, its like once i entered a zone where only people of my kind dat actually existed, ohhh my word Ya Allah i got petrified, dah la hav to enroll to the course that i never like, used to la but i grow up, i kno wat i want. soooo during the orientation, i cried a lot. minorly publicly and majorly in the toilet. bongek ahahhahahaha. i became like soooo proud of myself. i thought i was better than anyone otha shit there. i speak to people in english jus to express myself and mainly to differentiate my personality from othas. not to menunjuk nunjuk. i wrote my confession in my organizer sayin shit things about the uni and got caught by a senior durin faculty induction. i was sooo furious i cant content my angst. by far i will make sure that will the last moment in my life that i become soo proud of my self. astaghfirullahalazim.

enrolled 2 dis course, was actually, quitted yeah wongga wongga, i assumed all asses were asses. meanning dumbshit brains who really just into cooking. they do own the passion and i'm truly grateful to hav them around but they proved me wrong. though i was and still am the most outspoken, attention grabber@desperate, people see me as an i dunno sumone from the bright side of the brain. but, they were better. much much better. personally for me i never met soo hardworkin people like my classmates, they are sooo baik, i've been to the quietest class in my life. never ever ever it happened to me by far as i'm concern.

i set my own ideology. its better for me to be off the spotlight and dun see myself like better than anyone else. confidence is essential, its just dat when u own that kind of thinking, it will make u big headed, budget bagus and takbur. i may be preachin now coz i dun wanna my readers and myself to be like dat. my readers. chewah. ramai ke? ahahhahahahhaha amin alhamdulillah at least i got a few kan

on the second half of the suggestion. stuck at somewhere people are just brainless. ok. i dun say brainless la but more of clueless kot. me and frens went for state level campin in 2006 coz its free and i cant afford 2 go to genting trip which happens at the same period. soo its like compensation la to lim goho tong. ahahhahahahah sooory sir. ahahahahhaha. it was a camping for kids dat are out of classes, out of pedoman or sumthin, just imagine it was 4 of us against a whole troupe of Pandamaran Rempits!!!! like a bee hive of rempits. fuckery horror ok. yerrrlk the moment i stepped out the bus i really wanna cabut balik. i dunno they may rape me. ahahhahah. yet they proved me wrong.

jus imagine out of all teambuilding activities, none, they contributed any idea. it was purely mine. they were CLUELESS not brainless. ahahhahahahahah. one of my teammates, rempit he supposed 2 be, was shy, self pridely unpunctual, hard to penetrate. durin Cita Cita Saya slot, people will go to the audio and say out loud their respective ambition. he was stunt. sentap not moving. and i said wats ur ambition? he stummer. i pulled his paper and he wrote, 'Fashion Designer' i was like wow wee wow. a rempit designer wat more could we ask for? people say dis kids no gud one but he got his dream. the whole group supported his dream. since then he was smilin, early for the activities, wow, a changed man.

to faisal, theres no brainless asses around, obviously they'll be dead by then if no otak. they are just clueless, insecure but some just to kg to accept the fact that they are KG. thanx for the suggestion.

Misconceptions of being close to the opposite sex

Finally its about time. Madame Merah made a request to suggest a topic of the post. as i'm all drained out, sooo its rather a refreshment at last. PEOPLE!! be grateful coz dis blorg is highly democratic. U can decide on what i shud blorg next. arrghhhh. but filteration of the topic will be done by moi. the only Ramadhan. coz sum people suggested on sumthin dat may cost me to be caught by the police. suggest sum relax and chillin topic where people can relate to like the first time you got wet dream or first period. ahahahahha

We gayut last nite. and ye lah well u kno dah lame x bersua kan. sooo like tonnes of shit dat she spilled on. sooo she said she insist on dis topic to be posted. well from my observation and my delibaration madame merah is one of the sickest minded person to ever roam in my world. its sick coz in class we were like cikgu and anak murid but once outside psycho2 heads. gyler kot.

i dun like 2 say dis but shes one of the people, few actually, very few dat i bonded in uitm. and as frens we are crazy like the bodohest people to ever feel like they finally got a fren. coz in uitm both of us dun really belonged there. we do survived, makin frens but to have sumone dat can share the same thinkin like the passion for french language, bold personality is like 1 in 1000 people. so just imagine la when we actually found each otha, its like yeah the beginnin of time. bongek sial. we always mengumpat on people dat sooo kg, like behaved like americans, tolonglah. but we did it in purpose coz dorang tuh yg carik pasal with us.

back 2 the topic. basically madame merah is only close to 2 people in uitm. suke suke jek aku. coz dis is my BLORG soo i will say according to me. ahahhaha. its only me and en. azhar. since i left soo he got crazyly funkiin around wit en azhar, neva more than just a bro to sis relationship. and people around her like makin up stories sayin dis and dat. Ya Allah. to all those homo sapiens who craved for publicity of others to support your living, thank you. thank you i wanna bid 2 y'all. coz your life is ill fatedly pathetic. people dont talk about you. people dun even care to make acquaintance wit you. and thank you. thank you again, your bullshitly KG behaviour resulted in providin us limelight that u always needed. soory we dun even care a single shit to talk about u, coz u'r not worth the attention. ahahahhahahahahahah fcuk urself up makcik2 sawah padi!!!

like the bag makcik post kan. do u all still can recall back? madame merah said its a hell good piece coz wat i posted in dis blorg is a fact of reality. which only existed in uitm penang. kot. not in her place in usm. yerrrkkk. no identity la y'all. why one person wear dat cheap shit and suddenly all wanna go and wear the bag makcik. u can afford 2 buy a 2K hengget phone, but not a 20 rengget bag? stop bullshittin ur mind. and thanx nasri, for introducing bullshittin word in my vocabulary.

for those who simply membuat tohmahan to say bad things on others, cut the crap off. its fake. and in reality U R THE BIGGEST FAKE!! entahla mentality of people over there like sooo polluted with their KG-ness credibility. bodoh. ahhahahahaha. mostly people of THAT race behaved like pigs. not only the makcik2 sawah padi, even the kids, the students there. ewww dah la kg pastu wanna talk shit on me? why me? not sumone else? gay issit? go and guy with sumone else la bongek!!! u have sex and smoke and even ganja, dun ever be soo confident to say shit things about othas.

p/s: i got prove ok. i dun simply tuduh2. to those who taburkan fitnah on madame merah, hellooo even her hubby pun x kesah dorang kawan. to this particular person yg budget bleh speak french but lives in sg petani, get over urself la. down with your pride. ewwwww

I found my wonderland

to those reading this, i askin u. u my readers ahahahhahaha. now. when u go out the house, to hang out with ur crew, definitely shoppin mall the place to be kan kan?? ooohh omg, i wanna watch cicakman and i nid to buy kotex afterwards la ahahahhahaha dats the reason dat u give rite? rite?

workin part time in klcc, gosh, i can only exit the building earliest by 8 coz there'll be no bus to hop on at wangsa maju lrt. soo i develop sum plans which is where to go to kill the time till 8 pm every workin day. sooooo wtv it is i fell for the twin towers at night!! soo cantek arrghhh. my makcik questioned me what was i doin at the park at 8, which nk korek2 whether i go for date or wat. and i answer, "makan kueh makuda". ahahhahahhaha so simple as dat. i wanna hav my engagement ritual in the klcc park but to take account that i promise elly she and her mom will be the host sooo i guess engagement in subang jaya where she leaves and weddin reception in kelab tasik putrajaya.

ookkk i've been abit out of topic now. sooo back to the story. titled i found my wonderland. ok like this. i said to myself, though i'll nt gonna get bored goin to klcc park everyday, at least i nid to figure out sumwhere else to go kan. for the variety la kan. sooo. and yes yeah yeah yeah. i found my wonderland which is.................... Best Home Appliances Stores. opposite TGV near Chilli's. ahahhahahahah yeah for those who plans to live a ramadhan's life. pliz itinerarise a visit to that parlour.

why i said sooo coozz. i'm a homely homey man. yes i do. i wanna buy a property in Subang Jaya for my wife and our six kids but i'll not move in the lot till i get everythin done accordin to my best interest. the wall, the floor, the lavatory must be done and decorated to my taste only. no one else. sounds like ego but by doin dis, i will love my home until forever, together my baby forever.... u will always be the only one. whistle abit. eeaahah!

i can browse for full HD plasma, only sony for entertainment ok. fridges, washin machine and dryer, preferably Bosch coz the brand sounds soo full body, vacuum from elba, periuk nasik, cordless phone, electric grill. macam mcam la. lagi not forgetin hand held cordless vacuum and cordless iron. and i'm fallin for steam garment iron. ahahahhaha. but no no for air purifier shit every thin. ahah, air ventilator for kitchen and toilets. aircond pun. 3 hourse power for hall and 1 HP for the bedroom. ahahhahahahahahah coz i love to share and caring is by sharin, i will show u some of my dream house appliances.

p/s: since my makcik called out to eat, soo find urself la hahahahhahahahahaha. only side by side door fridge on bosch je and chestbox type fridge pun jalan. i only prefer Zanussi convection turbo oven. ahahahhahahahahahah. fill the form to sponsor my dream home thank you

On how kids in KL behaved

This by far will be the utmost controversial post of mine. ahahahahah meniru ayat post bawah. i own this place let me be the king. ahahhahahaha tasted fish head noodle soup and its argrghhh near heaven, just nice to cover up the hole in my heart for not eating vietnamese beef noodle soup in bb me get strplaza. wtf let straight to the centre of the story.

to nasri, i may nid to take this whole paragraph to apologize if this post may hit u in the wrong way ahahhahahahahah. people forgive me alot. soooo what. i'm still a rock star. ahahahhaha jgn takbur. astaghfirullahalazim

okay. went out to meet my adek from another motha in klcc. planned everythin and well implemented. one thing about going out wit guys compared to makin it wit girls, its hassle free! once you drafted out the plan, it'll be flawlessly executed. ahahhahaha compared to girls,, mcm2, period la, bra i senget la, suami ajak jalan2 la. never ending reasons.

i always terlajak from the story kan. ok. met up wit adek from another motha and his crew at tgv front ass. cool guy. but. but. but. but, i noticed that, people from those living near the centre of the city centre which is kl city centre which is again klcc ahahahha behaved.... differently. alhamdulillah i was bred in subang jaya, exposed to sorts of kinda people, behaviour and such, at a minimal exposure that is, we subang jaya kids tend to adapt to the environment more adequately. we go out and we do have fun till the eleventh hour but, restriction is never to be disobeyed.

the story, which is now a history of mine, ok i lepak with him and his crews by the escelator, i was not movin an inch coz i'm followin them. ok. and. and. and. and. they stalked , (sorry ekk guys i like u but i'm just tellin you the truth), ahahhaha, and they checked out girls, ladies and makcik makciks passin by every now and then. u kno wat to expect from young men checkin out the THING. i was like oh my word Ya Allah ya tuhanku. wat on earth are they doin? for me to grow up close to mama, respecting the opposite sex is vital in surviving in the society, ahaaahahhaha sounds soo fcukin gentleman kan????

they dressed up abit differently, one of them seems like headin to a concert and the other looks as if he just been awaken ahahahhahaha. but. but and another but, one of them brought along songkok! for friday prayer. i never think of such disposition ever in my life. wow. he truly into the culture of religion sensitivity. respect you bro. and they behave just nicely. wow never knew such kids can be soo polite. and nasri is sooo ambitious he cant wait for his piloting career to shoot off. hope i can be Singapore Airlines A380 captain and u'll be the first officer. he will be on top one sunny day.

la fini. i went to ampang park from klcc under scorchin sun and to find out my otha adek of the otha motha went to crowne plaza. jalan patah balek. after that is when i tasted the fish head noodle soup. sumpah Subhanallah sedapnye! Alhamdulillah amin

About bein myself. as Ramadhan.

this yet to be the most personal post. ahahhahahah sound soo dirrty plak ahahhahah. but i'm gonna tell you the truth. coz lately i was freaked out by my own will to be who dat is i'm not. to be unRamadhan. it was a big mistake for lettin myself caged and to be someone that i am not

lately i felt like aging has taken over me withour prior notice. i was quit though in reality this is soo fcukin not gonna happened but, i was quiet. i dun mix around with people, rather intimidated to the crowd which never happened in my life b4 coz i will just talk to anyone, gay lesbian name it i did talk to all. but ........ what got into me?

maybe because i'm the kinda guy who take career though part time as sumthin to make me freakin serious. i go by the rules, betul la tp x bergaul. it was during training of volunteer program. i looked at them, they were outspoken, which is sumthin that is not neu to my personality, i got confused. i got scared. if people from uitm specifically my frens bumped into me durin training, they will sumhow know some shit is happenin. that is not who i am.

for those who dun really kno me, i'm the kinda person who enters the class and light will go bright. coz i always enter early soo i switch on la hahahahahhahaha. i will sing, i will shake my booty to whatever beat to satisfy my inner desire, to let my personality shines thru. not to tarik perhatian ok. never. but it came with the package. alhamdulillah

during the seminar in impiana klcc for volunteer, i said to myself, relax, let you be you. dont be not yourself just becoz u dun wanna people to get freaked out with ur personality. and yes i did.

i was the only one brave enuff to ask question. during the first slot of the seminar, where others bein thinkin of what the hotel serves for breakfast, i let my curiosity side of me to stand out. coz i only want answers. i no longer shaken by the fact that i need to use microphone to make a speech. its more of an honour i take it that way. i laughed the loudest coz i own the loudest laugh bukan nk menunjuk or poyo2 but i'm natural.

ended up the day with a stroll to pavilion bkt bintang. with a smile in the heart. and alhamdulillah the earlier volunteers mostly accepted me. though few cant. what do i care

I DONT GIVE A FREAKIN MERDE!!!!!

My journey in speaking english

Ya Allah, i'm all drained off on doin neu post, as if like my talktative side seems to check out. arrghhh. stayed at home alone and yeah i did. i watch Mad About English! yeaahah. i watched it. for those who didnt, plis do sooo, re-watch, teleport to 10 pm just now or whatever to watch it. i was like Ya Allah, they worked their asses like hell to speak English! like are u willing to have english camp on raya eve? like 10thousand of them did it. i was soooo moved by the story on how they really wanna improve themselves. it drives me like mad to really wanna do well in my piloting course insyaAllah in commence next year. anticipate my journey.a hahahhahahahahah promote promote wajib. more to know is that maklang put my undies like sumwhere hidden. ingatkan dh hilang. cemas jek.

by having a blorg which posts were done majorly in english yg sangatlah terabor, i dun really see myself -====0-0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 (the cat typed ok tis), ok continue, i dun really see myself as someone thats soooo gud in english coz i just started to speak the language for 3 years alhamdulillah, everyday is a learning process. ahahahhahaha

i kno ramai yg x sabar for the lesson of ramadhan's history kan? ahahhahahahaha ok. my parents they went for english schools and obviously they speak fluent english. but they never potrayed that part of them at home. in result i can only converse in malay at younger years aand i'm not that old, not as fortunate like my genius bro who can simply speak without any i dunno we never speak english at home but he can simply say things in english. my story was different, i know if i want things in life, i need to work my butt ass like triple times heavier than anyone else.

always interested in english and i only started to listen to malay songs when i was 13. whole life was ok, didnt get insulted, mostly due to my boldness, people dun dare to break me apart. by the way i was in the first batch of the science n math in english. why shud i botha sayin this? mostly devoters of dis blorg are of my age ahahhahahah. until when i was 15. kailan ma? until when? until when shud i be like dis? cannot speak english? arrrgghhhhhh i nid a change. and i made it. i met my adek, my 2 year junior in skool and she speak hell gud english, i said to her, girl, let me kno if i make mistakes, coz its the best method of improvin my english. i put the key into the ignition ahahahhaha, started the engine and it took quite sumtime for the engine to heat up. ajajajaja. it was on off on off. one time i can speak fluently, other time like hancur ya amat. tension jek. i was told by a bitch manager where i work to not speak english. be a bitch but pliz la, ur bitchiness will not penetrate other's minds.

i do really felt the impact of bein able to speak english. i am more secure of myself, i can make a stand on my opinion with full confidence, i said to myself i may commit mistakes here and there, but at least i tried and i tried to learn. terlebih laju lak, when first i started to speak, i will face to the wall all night long to speak to myself, u see we nid to start small before we can go big rite?? and in uitm where my confidence in speaking english really boosted up. i dun wanna do my course at the first place. no no wrong. i dun wanna go to penang in the first place, with all the orientation and everythin, i started to carve insults, bad words in english onto my organizer. i got it free ok. ahahhaha. and i dunno, sumthin got into me and i speak english, especially to those utara peeps yg i dun understand the language.

one day while doin revision with a fren, who speak much better english, name pun lahir kat us, i got this wild idea, to set a group support to help those in need to help them to speak english! best the idea. and the impact on the participants were ultra overwhelming! my bestfren wan who cant and not willing to speak english, trying his biggest shit to speak the language everyday! wow! alhamdulillah, he thanked me like hell, thank you Allah you help me all the way thru my life and it is a continous success. alhamdulillah syukur. dah terlaju lak. sepatutnye dis part of the story come afta dis part. i often quarrel with my utara roommate coz i basicly dun understand their dilect. sooo i speak english all the time. one day afta he got back after test, i asked him "how was it?" and u kno wat? he replied in FULL ENGLISH! alhamdulillah rosle u'r steppin up the game. alhamdulillah. i didnt listen to the content of the words but it was in full english. Ya ALLAH tekojot berok aku malam tuh. from that incident i knew sum program must be done to aid those in nid.

my frens, they thanked me, overwhelmingly, and i said it is in u. i just stimulate u to speak. the words are from ur mind not mine. my tagline for the program, talk less stimulate more and make love in between ahahahhahahahahahahah

wow, dis post really makes me wanna pray harder and harder. Usaha n tawakkal tangga kejayaan. i always said to myself, though i'm not a great ass in english language, but atleast i wanna offer what i own. its like sedekah, ur not the richest person in the world. but u atleast tried to sedekah some to ease the burden of those in nid kan??

p/s: i really nid to be able to fluently speak french b4 i get married, i want my kids to speak french to me, english to my wife and malay to Mama. i still intact to my malay root ok, despite of bein a quarter french and russian blooded ahahahahhahahaha

Men have bellies, after gettin married

this post is referring to all men. my conscience keeps on reminding me on the number of years that is counting. why why why i dont understand why most men will like gave birth to a belly, big fat googly lookin belly? arrghhh. this is an enemy that eventually hopefully la will not come and harm my future days. arrghhhh. and to the ladies dun u think sooo? its like, yeah i;m married to a fit fiiiiiine guy, and boom 2 years marriage, he started to develop one. ewww ewww its 4 me the biggest fashion malfunction coz whatever you put on, no matter how expensive or how effective it is said at the tag to eliminate belly, it'll stil pop out. arrghhh.

sooory ekk there's no history that i can relate to this phenomenon, coz i dunt have it but stil i'm feelin like i'm started to develop it. tanak tanak tanak. soo i will give not give la share my experience and observation on this yucky not supposed to be thinggy. if you think ur metabolic freakin shit is sooooo active that you can burn fat even when u fart, dont be sooo confident most of my uncle there were stick thin. maybe they led an active life once but after kawin, Ya Allah the men got pregnant first. the wife like abang we work it everyday i'm still not pregnant and its as if u got a 5 month old foetus inside. sooo frustratin kan.

i watched this anmum essential show on nurturin the kids. and the episode happens to be on postnatal interaction between husband and gravely ill wife. and the correspondents the husbands la all of them got belly like so huge u can cut cost by having ur wife not buying sleepin pillow for herself. and of them commented that the BELLY acts as a mattress if you sit down and carry ur baby. like fcukin shit ewww why on earth u nid to heep ur child, a baby on ur belly? the most unfashionable place to yuck put ur kid on. and he did also said no men in malaysia that drive lamborghini yg takde belly. bodo sial. its like u r cursin urself to belly up ur stomach part. eeeeee

got another more story. i was an MC for university open softball tournament. i know nothin bout the game and just observed. the winning team was brunei. and 90% of them were belly barers. mcm like we unite with each other by having a belly of our own. and they ran the fastest too. can every kejadian must have pengajaran. the belly like drives them to run forward coz its like arrghh my belly falling and to stabilize i nid to run faster!! most of them are soo gatal tak sedar diri buncet. ewww. madame merah said they stared at her as if she's naked. atia got proposed to go to a dinner wit the team captain. its a gud thing though if she didnt turn down the offer! invite me, i wanna eat. arrgrghhh kat hotel lak tuh.

summing up, i will do whatever it takes to not to be buncet. go to the fat burning centre whatever. i wanna be bellyless!

p/s: taken from foto makin machine at petrosains upcomin dinotrek wtf. ok la at least i can enter there free. i just finished my training as volunteer there. fans, wanna get kissed? come la ke petrosains. break on monday soo jgn dtg ahahahah

My porn history

4 those hesitatin to read this post, i'll keep it porn-details-free ok. it's just on how i did it. ahahahahha on history of my life watchin it. enjoooooooy!

Ya Allah tq soo much for wat just happened 2day. i meet my FAN! arrghhh my blorg follower, my blorg addicter, me blorg worshipper. where else, KLCC babey yeah wongga2. ahahahahah she wanted 4 autograph n i said like guuuuurl, one day a person will forge money of my account, sourcing from the signature dat i'll gave to u darl. and she insisted for a peck on the chick. but we did it french style. ahahahahhahahah

one of my fren in skool like he was soooo proud of what he is doin at tat time, which is wat most men do in toilet, and he started at age 16! aahahahahha damn lambat. and i ask him, wat makes u wanna do it? and he said he got STIMULATED by watchin porn. i dig in more. when was ur first. he said form 1. prrhhhh. loser. u wanna kno when was my first time lookin at porn?

3 years old.

ahahahahah i didnt lie ok. it was when i discovered a magazine, which i sure it was imported from i dunno australia kot. my first glance was, wat the hell are those people doin? like wat on earth they hv to ********. i was soo young tooo young to understand it and i intepret it as an exercise. aahahahhahahaha. only after 9 years only i found out the true meanin behind the physical posture.a ahahahahhaha. but i remember i got aroused at age4. when under the mattress and ..... ahahahhahah.

a decade after, bapak lame ahahahah. 14 years old. its a normal age for most men to venture themselves into watching this shits. ahahahhahaha. and i wanna join the trend. ahahahah tak silap it was during a test, after paper agama kot ahahahhaha i bought a vcd which is sooo not worth it, it sooo expensive which is 10 hengget which i can spend on rojak longkak at subang jaya. went back home and watched it straight. it was hell. the lady in the video did it with kaki kerusi. yuuuuuuckkkkkk yuuuuuuuuuuck. no porn details sooo ry.

once again in 2007, by the way, i got freaked out, i was sooo afraid sumone will found my cd, i broke it straight afta finished watchin. was a smart move by the way. dun u think soo? i kno i'm gud. ahahahahhahah back to 2007, went to karaoke in sunway pyramid bukan carnivale ekk. no penang penang here. definitely la enjoy after hours of dangduting ahahahahahahah i can gelek by the way. i got this plan. my mama gonna fetch me at summit by 5.30 soo i nid to buy hentai by 4.30. hentai is japanese cartoon porn ahahahahhaha. i made excuses to run away from mon amis frends in french annnnnd. bought the dvd. ahahahahha upgraded myself this time dvd pulak. 15 hengget. lagi la mahal. it was fun. it was cartoon ahahahah. at least its nt real life and i didnt get nauceased afta watchin.

to the ladies, i think its negatively positive 4 ur husband to watch it occasionally if they take it as educational resource for ur nafkah batin or sumthin ahahahahha important tau. u dun wanna marry a nerd on the bed. but dun let them addicted la. u can watch it together ahahahahhaha

for those foreign on porn, here's are the truths:

• watching them for the first 10 mins make u like wooooooooooow! niiiceee!!
• afta dat, u may wanna gag coz they are livin human and, its yuuckkkkk ewwwww

i do see myself as a porn star ahahahahhaha. i wanna record my first nite for the memory for the days and years that lies ahead. i rather film my first nite than goin to studio 4 weddin photography ahahahahhahahaha. wanna watch my act? call me ahgahahhahahahahha did it b4 ahahahahahah

p/s: my previous post got lotsa mistakes, majorly typin error. i'm human, made mistakes my own sooo let my be me aahahahhaha

My part time jobs

for those who observed with their bitchy eyes, not bitchy la soory ekk, all my readers are saints ahhahaha. i didnt blorg yesterday as i felt that it'll be much more relevant to post it today. so sial la dis com. corrupted kacau my blorg jek. ok back to the main agenda, which is to blorg. b4 i go a bit deeper to ellaborate my latest job, only now i know how crowded lrt station can be. when people wanna go to work. especially wangsa maju station. giler bapak ramai. luckily my dick didnt get touched like what happened in komuter. but the feel of being touched is like,,,, priceless. ahahahahhaha. the title of the blorg is my part time jobs kan sooo i will story on that la. i just trained for a day for my latest job. sooo later la on that.



i just started training for petrosains volunteer prog, which to date will be my 4th job, should be 5th if tutoring crazy anak jirans counted.



my first job was as a waiter in pizza hut, in seri kembangan. worked for a month, learnt a lot but working condition was hell. the supervisors were born in hell, accept two whom behaved professionally. ohhh it was in 2006 and i was 16 at the time, i was legal to work. yeah. at that i was soo teruja for gettin a job. my aim was just for earning money, nak beli ipod nano la new phone laa ahahahahha in the end after workin for 1 month, i earned only 250 hengget. so sial they truly exploited young workers! the managers were yucky and one supervisor sooo pervert. he "observed" my friend's ass. sial. i hate it totally but learnt alot. one customer errupted becoz he's not willing to pay for extra cheese. bodo punya pakistan. tak mampoo jgn order la. sakai. my reflect his anger on me! fcuker i hate u cheapskate vegan!!



in 2007, 2 months before spm, i got job! ahahahahha. i was given a job. i dun need to hunt down for it. thats the true beauty of it. 2 day promoter job in jusco supermarket. promoting this healthy snack of dehydrated veggies. my fren's father actualy head of the marketing and her daughter supposed to do the job. but somehow ape tah she cant do it on that specific week. Ya Allah i stand for 10 hours straight!! aahahhaha no la 1 hour break in between. i made friends with alot of makcik promoters and one bro. nice la. only then i realised the importance of experience instead of money. actually there's a fudcrt for staff, soo cheap the food portion soo huge 3 hengget can guarantee you a fulled tummy. i dunno la, whereever i work, must got a villain. got this one bitch security guard, fucker i hate you to death, dah la budget berkuase and she toyed around with my fatha's name!! fucker bitch you deserves nothing but to be a spinster!



my 3rd job, rite after spm, a customer service representative, aka call operator at domino's. by far its the hardest thing for me to do yeah, having to navigate the com and take order from hellbounded callers. oh my word. once i did a huge error, an order sent to wrong address and went to wrong outlet! i didnt get scolded but the psychology side of it, i lost heart to work already. callers can be somehow stupid, no brain issit? order salah budget betul. everytime i entered the office, its like visiting MIC punye bilik gerakan. not to be prejudice but a lot of them and to get promoted will only happened if you mingle around with the supervisors. yuck. i lied to skip a day off the job sayin i got emergency case in kampung. kno wat, few days later, my uncle passed away. Its one of my biggest regret in my life. its the only funeral that i cried.

my other job, this is the odd one, as a tutor. arrghhhh. i'm kinda of the replacement of my bro after he continued sumthin i guess. entah. ok watever. the kids that i taught, were one of the crazy bunch, i taught 2 houses. one tingkat 1 one tingkat 7. standard 3 ade tuition? i was like wat??? i did it on the intention of doin charity. sooo wtv la. the house kat tingkat 7, the kids said to me, if i didnt rotan, they will not absorb wat i teach. damn freaky weyh. and they are the first one, the first one in my life to be caned by me. ahahahhahaha i kno it hurts. they asked 4 it. gud side of it, i was served wit FOOOOOD after each classes. like 7 meals a day. ahahahhahahah

next post i'll be blorging on my first time watchin porn. ahahahahahahaha

I got lost in KL! again!

madame merah u may get upset reading this piece.

by far today is one of the most educational day of my life. yeah. yeah yeah. why?

COZ I GOT LOST!!

Almost all places that i went today. i got lost. even in the place i truly familiar. arrghhhhh

let's recall the lesson shall we.

picked up my cousin, sent my sister back to her house. done. alhamdulillah. didnt get lost soo far. hey!! its only me and cousee and implementation of goin to sunway pyramid must be done. in easier words, we planned to go to sunway pyramid and we did. ahahahhaha. there, after purchasing twilight movie tickets, we wandered off for food. coz i was sponsored by her and she is relatively undecisive, bukan relatively, memang undecisive pun, soo we got no idea where to eat. more like "where to eat?" "i follow you coz you pay" ahahaahhahaha kinda thing. 30 minutes was spent on that. after arguments of either kfc or tony roma's, takde nye tony roma's, so we decided to head down to kenny rogers. went to the old outlet unfortunately. arrghhh. shifted. referred to the map, got lost. went to the concierge, i only listen to first part of her direction. stuck up biatch. hate that lady. then jalan2 and jalan2 and jalan2 lagi........... we nearly gave up. covered the whole mall but can't seems to find the outlet. then refer back to the map. guess what? kenny rogers is nex to mcd which is nex to kfc!!! we spent 1 HOUR wandering like lost tenuks just to discover it was just soooo nearby!!! arrghhhhh. wtv the food was sponsored by her. thanx fiqah.

after finished watching twilight which i highly reviewed as weirdly dumb nice film, we went to the car. and yes we wanna exit the building. now I GOT LOST IN THE PARKING LOT! not that i cant find the car, i cleverly saved the parking number in mon phone. take me as a role model. love me! breathe me!! AHAHAHAHAH. its that i cant find the way out from the parking lot. another 20 minutes spent on losting myself. ahahahahhahahah. then i got a wild idea. "let's hit KL" sooo we did. went thru federal hiway coz no toll to pay to go to kl sooo i just drive, drive with no exact intention where to go and SNAP, BAM, BANG BANG, BOOM, we chose The Curve! yeah great place to head down. argrgrhghhhh shit i just missed the exit to dmsara hgt, now i'm at tasik perdana at maghrib. arrghh horror. soo made a u turn, now i'm in..... i just soon discover i was lost, like the lostest lost i ever had. still remember i took the route heading to pudu, took jln tun razak route i guess, after 1 hour of losting myself, yeah!! i'm on the rite track!!. now i just nid to go straight. like that happen.

tau je la kan how rude kL drivers. i went to the wrong lane, termasuk tunnel to KLCC, luckily managed to find exit, shit, now i'm next to nikko hotel, just next to klcc!! i need a u turn! u turn. made one illegalll. went inside a construction side. ahahahahahhaha. ok on track. just head back to jln tun razak. ooohhhhh SNAP!!! tun razak utara or selatan???? how am i supposed to know?? ok utara. shit wrong path. made a u turn near ampang park. i hate it i hate it i hate it. actually i love to get lost. in the city that i love. soo dun care that much la. masuk sg besi, the federal highway back then to kelana jaya, damansara, bdr utama and finally mutiara damansara. Ya Allah, its 8.00pm. we cant go to the curve. i need to fetch her back to kajang which is soooo far back. arrghhh. soo we just strolled down mutiara damansara. ahahahahha

after all the lost, faulty navigations and unresourceful first officer and highly confused captain, alhamdulillah we managed to get back to kajang safely without getting lost. all this lost, to mutiara damansara was just for a short visit, not even a visit pun, we just passed by the area.
Ya Allah

it was crazy it was everywhere. but i learnt alot

p/s: now i kno where's jln tun perak. near tong shin kan? ahahhahahahahhaha issit rite?

I am allergic to chocolate. True

My biggest apology coz this post will be one of the most pathetic one amongst all. ahahhahaha variety of words aittee. ahahahhahahaha i am allergic to chocolate. yeah real one. nothing can explain coz i know, i know, i know, i know i am unique. awkwardly unique. since this allergic reaction took over my body and my whole life, actually it did nothing at all until this particular event. in 2006

ok history period rite up people. arghhh one gud thing that is stil vividly clear in my mind is that i was a choco addicter. when i was 3, i will go up the highest mountain, crossed the deepest ocean just to get, well, chocolate. ahahhahaha. bodoh gyler. then it was famous with small choc wrapped with wrappers with animations and stuff and i am very DECISIVE. since young. coz i hunt down for the milky taste of the chocolate not for the wrapper. i would climb up my cot which i never sleep in just to get some of it. i was a rather spy-ishh person, i took 3, instead of all 10. ahahhahahaa. huge milo drinker and i ate the baby milk formula powder straight for the tin. it was good. its still gud. when i worked in pizza hut, i used to take home, more like steal sachets of creamers ahahhahahaha sooo gudd. u can meet me in sum dark alley where people go for drug and you meet me and i say, wanna creamer or not? ahahahahhahahahaahha bongek agahahahha

until i was 4 kalau x silap, i discovered that my skin is full of spots. my sis keep on referrin me as drug addict. sengal btul. since then, i need to be parted from choco. which now i dun really bother coz its soooo fcukin sweet. how people can actually arrrghhh eat that stuff. and it stuck to the throat and gag people up. arrghh yuck. until year 2006

it was raya. and waddahell every house that i visited, every barn that i went, they served choc cookies which is really dark choc which i fell in love coz its soo killah sweet. like every houses. yeah. every house, i finished the whole balang. like one desperately hungry horse. it was not until the maghrib time when i got bitten by few ants. well it was ordinary. ordinary until my body was full of those..... if someone got bitten by mosquito, ur skin will puff up kan. but mine was whole body. just imagine face, chest, back, ass full of it. arrghhh and i cant breathe. my eyes turn red. arrghhh. like i'm evolving into char siew or sumthin.

wanna cut short, i went to the clinic, freakin packed and the service was like lightning fast. ahahahahah. the doctor was a freak. got injured and within seconds i'm healed!!! back to normal. mase nak pegi klinik was like dying but mase balek selamba jek ahahhahahahahah.

not many know this. i eat belacan, like i eat cheese. ahahahhahaha really i really do. i just take a big bit of it and voila into my mouth. ahahhhhhahahahah. especially belacan sarawak soo sweet. not forgetting ikan bilis, straight from the market and dried shrimps are my popcorn.

conclusion iss, dun offer me choc, i do appreciate but it'll end up in someone's mouth. not mine soo i'm not happy. give me.......... mee bandung ke... i dun really into pizza. not fullfilin ahahahah

p/s: research shown chocolate can be a pleasure replacement for S*X, which is sex. Like, ladies, it is true?

Confession of an Andartu

for those who just disembark from flight from lahore andartu is anak dara tua. rite and for those with intention to read this post, pliz go thru the previous one. this is a real life account. no edit was done.


ususz nadya is the cik susie, durian is the one who own this blorg ahahahah wongga

[14:27] durianbuttercake: kawen la cepat
[14:27] durianbuttercake: buat org tension jek
[14:28] Ususz Nadya: napa plak...sy x tensen lnsg
[14:28] Ususz Nadya: i soo not gonna get mariied
[14:29] durianbuttercake: i will make u
[14:29] Ususz Nadya: such a waste of time n money to of dat now
[14:29] durianbuttercake: andartu
[14:29] durianbuttercake: hahahhahaha
[14:33] Ususz Nadya: u hav to get som1 who looks like chad michael murray, tp better version..into photography, can diff languages; french, italian, spanish, mandarin, japanese..he must enjoy cooking too, loves travelling..byyyykkk duittt, not self-centered, sincere, devotes his life to help others..flexible, enjoy outdoors n adventures, mahu jadi my partner in amazing race...n he must must like me for who i am n thinks dat im the light of his life now n in the lives to come..tp xbleh king control..
[14:34] Ususz Nadya: can u find som1 like dat!!???
[14:35] durianbuttercake: hah
[14:36] Ususz Nadya: he must be independent, optimistic, sensitive at times tp xleh over sgt kena well balanced wif his ego..
[14:36] Ususz Nadya: pembersih
[14:36] durianbuttercake: ade ade
[14:36] Ususz Nadya: respect time, other women, d elder...
[14:36] durianbuttercake: Datuk K
[14:36] Ususz Nadya: u c...im very demnading!!!
[14:36] Ususz Nadya: n he must not b too old from me
[14:37] durianbuttercake: coz u will neva gonna find one
[14:37] durianbuttercake: nak buat citer pasal andartu la
[14:37] Ususz Nadya: atleast beza umur 5years
[14:37] durianbuttercake: u r the subject
[14:37] Ususz Nadya: +5 or - 4
[14:37] Ususz Nadya: dats y.....
[14:37] durianbuttercake: hek?
[14:38] Ususz Nadya: sy susah nak fall in love k...
[14:38] durianbuttercake: clare?
[14:38] Ususz Nadya: coz i noe im very demanding
[14:38] durianbuttercake: i'm copy all these at my blorg later
[14:38] Ususz Nadya: clare?...sy tau only 3% of him
[14:38] Ususz Nadya: damnnn
[14:38] Ususz Nadya: aahahhahahahha
[14:38] Ususz Nadya: ok u can do that
[14:38] durianbuttercake: confession of an andartu
[14:38] durianbuttercake: ahahahhahaha
[14:39] Ususz Nadya: tp i hav difficulties in trusting men as well soo...
[14:39] Ususz Nadya: it's really goin 2 b difficult n impossible
[14:39] Ususz Nadya: dats y...i decided noot to ting about marriage
[14:39] Ususz Nadya: coz i noe its imposible..ahahahaha
[14:40] durianbuttercake: jgn la sedey
[14:40] durianbuttercake: suruh la mak cari
[14:40] Ususz Nadya: well..wat 2 do..im borned wif a very complex mind n heart!!
[14:40] Ususz Nadya: i don ting anybody can find a guy like dat...
[14:41] Ususz Nadya: i don even ting ppl like dat exist..
[14:41] durianbuttercake: kene cermin muke sendiri kot duloo
[14:41] durianbuttercake: ahahhahaha
[14:41] Ususz Nadya: akakakakakkaa
[14:41] Ususz Nadya: xyah nak cermin, im like this...
[14:41] Ususz Nadya: i cant help it..
[14:41] Ususz Nadya: im demand alot
[14:41] durianbuttercake: i need to match make u la
[14:41] durianbuttercake: seriously
[14:41] durianbuttercake: janji baik je
[14:41] durianbuttercake: duet bleh carik
[14:42] durianbuttercake: hati x bley
[14:42] Ususz Nadya: wen it comes to marriage..
[14:42] Ususz Nadya: tp in real life ,, sy sgt humble n modest
[14:42] Ususz Nadya: dats my weakness k..
[14:42] Ususz Nadya: eheheheh
[14:42] Ususz Nadya: xleh nak ubah lngsg..
[14:42] durianbuttercake: kene amik hammer, ketuk kepala
[14:43] Ususz Nadya: aahahahhahaa
[14:43] Ususz Nadya: xyah nak ketuk2...byk lagi keja sy bleh buat wif this head
[14:43] durianbuttercake: ahahahhaha
[14:43] durianbuttercake: pandai menjawab
[14:43] durianbuttercake: soo byler nk kawen
[14:44] Ususz Nadya: mestila..u asked me n i juz hav d perfect answer 4 u..
[14:44] Ususz Nadya: kalo sy jumap laki mcm tu esok, lusa gak sy kawen'
[14:44] durianbuttercake: kalau saye tak join warem
[14:45] durianbuttercake: mesti cite2 terkubur camtuh jek kan
[14:45] Ususz Nadya: wat do mean
[14:45] durianbuttercake: cter2 utk kawen


This is like the most epidemic disease to date. stop them from not getting married ahahha

Early Marriage : )

as all the post in this blorg lately were rather personal, more of the reason is that i'm the one who wrote it. ahahahhahaha i dunno most part of my life is not personal. i'm viewed by the public eyes. u can see me anywhere and u can really dig out the dirty details anyhow. on me

sooo class, today me will be blorging on one of my ambition once i work as first officer, to get married. and i mean it. early marriage. as in very early. not as early as 18 but early. meanin early. ahhaha

my friend cik susie will try to do whatever to block me for talkin about marriage. she's already 25 and she got noo intention to. arrghhh why why why people why?????? ok my side of the story. meanin my history. people loves me. ahahhahaha perasan. ahahhahahah. my body itches arrhhhgghh.

growing up as the youngest, definitely with no one younger than u, its like living as a king, noo noo its like living as a legend like britney spears, she closed the door for any other teenage singer at that moment, sooo its like spotlight was put on top of your head since birth ahahahhahaha. i do admit myself as a cunning self centred ass during younger age but i do grow up ok. and as a man, wahh like running for a president or summthin, the side of me that used to dislike kids faded away. and i love kids now and ever. i really do. and kids kinda freaked out when they saw me, coz they need to like look up, not as a role model but they nid to sprain their neck to be able to look at my face. there you go. now with the intention to have kids, planning for 6 maybe 2 or i dunno maybe 6 coz i'm hardly in control on birth control ahahhahahahahah. and i wanna get married at age 23. people said its tooo fcukin early as a man. meaning as a dog u can? soooo i dun see it as a problem.

people did preached on why not you just go and enjoy first? yeah. until i'm 94? i see myself as a not sooo interesting person, if i'm invited to a party, make sure food is served, if its like cocktail one with desperate people to show off the way they dress up, i will ditch myself the moment i entered the room. sooo my focus now is that to enjoy myself having kids!! wow with lovingly lovely wife. ahahhahahah. kids will weep soo loudly but ........ i'm not gonna go on details on this coz it bugs me on why i wanna have kids soo much. and i wanna get married soo early. actually i wanna have responsibilities. by havin it, your life is no longer be about you, i dun wanna be soo living life just for myself, insyaAllah once i settled down with my piloting job hopefully as a first officer, my life will be on focusing - on - others - oriented.

i really wanna tell u about madame merah. she's sooo sick she got married at 21. freak ahahhaha.
i still remembered the moment of our first french class. she entered and everyone wowed. and sumone asked on h0w to address her. and she said madame. and the sound like sumthin wrong happened in the movies come out. like oru.,;';**53w9**-/-ugas. at 33, her eldest son is 11. she is crazy and she admit herself. when she informed her family on her wedding plan, she said "i'm informin u i wanna get married, i'm not asking for permission". she is one sick ass. ahahahhahaha

to cik susie, get married, or i will marry sumone to you ahahahhahahahahahah

p/s: my private reception will be held at tasik putrajaya and only for those invited. i'll be serving authentic thai cuisine, courtesy of rasa thai subang parade. ahahahhahahahahahahahha

Implication on being a Smoker

From madame merah's comment i realised that smoking and men's egoism goes along very well. and lately i came accross blogs saying this and that on smoking. to everyone, no matter if u matter to me or not, i will tell you a story, rather menyeramkan on smokers around me. and i'm telling you the truth, sooo if you guys out there who love their men or women ur lives, if they are smokers la, force them, beg them pull them off their ash tray and let them read this post. and it works as advertisement to sell out my blorg. hopefully it works ahahahhaha

now straight to the story. when i was living in uitm college, Ya Allah, soo life threatening as my room, out of all caves and hidings, my room was used as a hub for smokers. i dunno kno how to say this. having to close your nose everytime you wanna sleep, not even sleep. nak pakai seluar dalam pun ade jek yg merokok. i cant accept smoke, and if its smoke, i just cant help it. just imagine like theres a bush fire inside your room. its freakinly smelly, dah la dorang x reti nak cuci baju, buat asap lagi

one pack, the cheapest one if not mistaken i'll be 6 ringget plus plus. oh my word. thats enuff to cover my food expenses for 2 lunches. its not gonna cover the dinner coz i eat like a horse. and loving steak. and by adding 50 cents, i can get chicken chop !!!! ahahhaa. my roommate, wish you can read this coz this will somehow humiliate you, was willing to trade a tub of hair wax which is like 15 ringget for 2 sticks of ciggarets. damn bodoh weyh. its like smoking will drain out ur sanity and make you even lower standard than the wild boar.

history on smokers in me life, my fatha. who used to smoke. smoke and smoke and smoke. arrghhh luckily i was too young to make such nasty judgements. and ugly thing did happen. he got stroke. because of it. just imagine theres an explosion inside ur brain causing some mechanical functions in your body to turn off. trust me he was half paralyse. and to put him back on track is soooo susah. acupuncture, this and that. it cost alot to heal you once you got stroke. and its burdenin to all. arrghh my uncle whom i love soo much is a smoker. arghhh. he suffered the worst migrane. and i hate my migrane. and his son once hospitalised for oversmoking. at that moment he was in matriculation and it took much destruction to his studies. he coughed like in the way ur throat can actually come off. yuck and i dun wanna people that i love to suffer and even u dunna wanna it to happen

these are the summary of majorly smokers will turn into:

• hot tempered asses
• low level of judgements
• desperatel broke
• smelly ahahahahahhahahaha
• and everythin thats not rite

i'm providin a free service which in return i'll be gaining fat. ewww. you can beg ur smoker buddy to go to me. i will set the deal. the deal is for him or her to trade his cigarette money to me and by doin that, he'll be smokeless and i'll be feeding myself steak for the rest of the week. eventually he will get fed up and not gonna give me more money and he will quit his addiction and i'll be gratefully sad coz i'll be losing steak. or nasik goreng cine. maybe gado gado ahahahahhahahah

p/s: anyone willin to give it a try, give ur email at the comment ahahahahah

Why Men are soo egoistic?

Just got back from kampung and i made me nauscious more than ever, the house was vacant like the most vacantest a house could be, by the way its my grandma's place, completely vacant after she passed away. i cant even let my ass settled down on a chair or whatever surface to sit soo i wandered off to mak ngah house for a place to nap. thats. it. raya aji this year. finish, ahahahaha.

Now straight to the issue on the title. I dunt own the intention to contradict the menkind but to hear the truth, i will say it out loud. if my fatha read this he'll sumhow kill me. but i dont give a freaking merde, which is shit, coz i'm telling the truth. why men are soooo egoistic??? like sooo belagak?? i dont say that i'm like ego free or somethin but to grow up on a rather shaky ground with parents to each other till this day, i will straightly blame to the men. why do you have to tunjuk bagus? why why why?

for example on the domestic chores? how many guys out there are willing to do the laundry? mend the garden or even wash their own plates? maybe as a son you will but once you turned into husband, ohh my word!!!

one example, a man would shout if the food is not ready on the dinner table? did they ever try to coooookk? like the ladies never work issit? and the ladies have to pick up their dirty underwear, clean the house and just about everything. i know at this point men in the society may trash me down, but isnt that like will show you how dumb ass you are??? another example. like someone that i know, even to carry his used up dish to the sink pun malas. hey, put on your brain and make it function. these days, ladies have prepare everythin even to bring the food home. men, where are your dignity? dont you feel a huge embarrassement heeped on your ass?

Growing up to see a mother suffer the most by the unhumane treatment of a husband, i will not gonna grow up and be like him. i will work my ass to do all the chores at home, and i'm been doing this for i dunno i lost count the number of years i've been doin this coz i started to do the laundry at a very young age.

HUGE TIP to men outside there. if you ever try to treat your wife or even your girlfriend as slave to satisfy every orders that you gave, just empathise and try to imagine your MOM is the one being treated like that. are you willing to? are you? are you. Prophet Muhammad did all the domestic works at home and yet He is the rolemodel of men to this date.

So once you wanna be a man, eliminate the egoism that you own. it may be tough but at least try

Things terjadi on the pagi of raye haji

Dont bother me i woke up late. with Brit. bodo. ahahahahhahahah. after terrorisation of mama to wake me up, i'm forced to do soo. guess the overnighting last night made me sooo lazy even to split up me eyelids. i'm drowsy, can't wait to doze off. ok. just walk out the room. coz i heard some nasyid recital from the hall. hek? since when people in this house interested in expressing their thoughts in nasyid. stupid as it seems, i can't blame myself for saying this coz i'm not even half conscious. then i saw my sis and mama, wearing baju kurung. i was like what happened to you guys? did i missed aidilfitri again? ohhh snapp. its raye haji. its like the debut, our family is the debutante this year coz its the premier to celebrate raye aji. it might sound soo cheesy but thats the truth. ahahahahhaha. now i need to showery.

What should i wear? like baju melayu? i dont have any. the only one i've is my bro's when he was 16 and at that time i was 14 now wearing it 18. ahahahhahahahhahaa my bro keeps on gettin baju melayu every single raye and i am like not interested coz its one of the most unselesa thingy to be worn yet it do enhanced my feature. what feature? i'm too mengantuk to even explain. ahahhahahahaa. shit, i heard voices from outside. who are those? guess there from the surau kot. i accidentally skipped the prayer. hehehhe very discreet one ok. errrr.... and mama prepared nasik beriani and nasik himpit. fuuhhhhh this is true raye. maybe i was less fortunate for not having the perserverence and the strength to raye that day and it keeps on haunting me back. not haunt. i just need to learn how to celebrate, no no be grateful. i can hear my cat meowing. and i need more sleep. the previous post on sleeping is no longer effective this time. ahahahha cant wait for journey to balek kampung listening to CircuS~!

The Reality Of The Beg Makcik

Cheng Kim demanded for this. i'm just here to entertain. ahahahahah to the owner of the unsinned body, sooryy i would like to bid to you. but if somehow i came face to face with my blorg, just take it as an advertising oppo to advertise you. by the way i dont even know your name. i know you know mine. sooryy. ahahahhahahahahahah





the gambar is sooo kecik and luckily i chopped of the head. ahahahahah any court orders against this post will be channeled straight to cheng kim's ahhahahahahahah. enjoy the wongga!

The Beg Makcik Phenomenon

This is like the hell-est of fashion error. its not even fashion. more considered as trash. cold and hard one. and why do people keep on following others, eventhough the outcome of wearing those bags will make you look like one senile ass by the pudu bus hub?

Okay, for those who r not clear on this, or never heard of this trend, i coined it myself. the so called trend is like this. men especially those in varsity, instead of backpacks or slings, they wear this cheap canvas free of charge bags where you can get in giant or if you attended any events anjuran by the local assemblymen. it looks hedious. the weirdest and not supposed to be followed by any means. its soooo contagious. what did i observed is that at the beginning of the semester, 30 percent of the guys will commit style suicide by doing this, and halfway before the mid sem, the spore of this ugly looking fashion/trash statement already spread to i dunno, whole campus i guess. the way they wear it, its like at the shoulder, or armpit i supposed. nooo, if you'r soo desperate for handbags, just go to cole haan or marc jacobs ke and get one. it may be like freaking expensive but at least its not the bag makcik. yuck yuck yuck. i reckon people go to places nude all by themself and never without any of those beg makcik.

i may put on photos of it. but maybe i dunno one day maybe got some beg makcik devotees come and hunt me down or something. i dun need to splat on for example of this totally wrong trend. i can simply find them everywhere, especially in permatang pauh. ahahahhahahahah. rite.

I got Britney's CIRCUS!!

just as emal ask me on the upcomin post, out of nowhere, someone knocked the door. its my sis. and she did! she did! SHE BOUGHT CIRCUS!! yeay yeay yeay. due to the lack of enhancements in my previous post, i'll flaunt out pictures of me and britney, out together to klcc garden. ahahaha
shut up

me with the hot poppin Circus. wongga that!

another photo. it thrills me off the dinding. wow. the impact is huge. like i got laid with her. ahaha




class, its history time. how did i actually fell in love with britney? like her music? a jazzy romie can tolerate the poppy pop music of hers. noo noo noo thats totally utterly falsy palsy. its jazz that needs to tolerate with her. though my sentence is all over da place, it means my soul is totally britney, like some lady surrogating britney's kids. ahahhahaha stupid

i've been supporting britney since her day one. day one of the baby one more time era. its an era you know. its a great pleasure to share stories with my kids that i grew up in the Baby one more time age. ahahahhahahaha. cool. the first time i saw her on tv was in ntv 7, ages ago in 1999 if not mistaken, coz free tv will be repetitive in playin music video. sooo we which were my siblings n moi will wait, and wait for brit's video. we even memorise which video will be aired before britney's. here video usually be the last one.

britney really teach me on buying original products all these years, coz we purchased all her album original. below will be the best example. only ori brit for me.

see the glowing stickies? its original baby yeah. its enuff to prove our loyalty to Brit Brit

its a love at first sight. britney was my first love. we used to date at the mamak in usj8. but as she cannot tahan the kari and the smokers, she ended up breaking up. thats britney. i do love you till this day. ahahahhahahahaha wongga. this is the sequence of where we purchase her album:

• Baby one more time: in carrefour desa petaling, with gud persuasion of my bro to fatha
• Oops I did it again: in Mines shopping fair
• Britney: eldest sis bought it during weekend outing from teknik school
• In The zone: Seremban Parade during raya, no no i played bowling and sis bought it

I truly wanna apologize to Britney, though we used to be lovers, i've neglected blackout. coz at then i just cant mix with your creative vision, and the music. and also to siti nurhaliza. having you as my ex fiance is like a dream come true but, you came 0.1 behind Britney. soooo its Britney no 1 and Siti Nurhaliza no 1.1. ahahahahhahahaha.



I'm fillin up the form to propose Britney for her soo called next year wedding planning ahagahahha. for now, i just wanna relax and sleep with britney tonight. Get laid!!! ahahahahha

p/s: Mama knew about Britney wayy before i was born. Mamahe followed the mickey mouseketeers. She said Britney was better than xtina and always is

I dont celebrate raya haji like really

Syikin came to me buggin about why ramadhan? why? why dont you celebrate raya haji? i was like errrrmm..... i dont celebrate, its not of celebration that supposed to be done, its more of praying and to worship Allah s.w.t. When it comes to celebration, i dunno even hari raya turned bland this year. mainly due to my sickness. i got sick at the end of the fasting month as yes i havent ganti 3 days puase. ahahhahahaha i will asap okk.

my hari raya celebration this year was an awkward experience. i woke up not knowing its already raye and i slept back, i'm too sick. i tried to persuade mama not to go balek kg but what more can i do? she will go no matter tsunami will occur or i dunno, if like siti nurhaliza will set up a concert, i will simply go balek kg. ahahahhahah damn hypocrite.

Though my stomach is like the most giant i ever met, how should i meet a stomach?? dun really get this. no no. more like i never really met anyone else that eat like freaky alot like me. back to story, though i eat like hell, i havent tasted lemang for 3 years, rendang for a year and more raye dishes. its the same thing over and over and over the years. hope people can actually serve like roasted ayam on a plate of chips or ice carving ke. ahahhahaha

emal went to pasar with his mom to buy stuff for hari raye haji. i was likee oooow u celebrate it, its too much of a think coz i dont really, no no i never really experienced any raya haji celebration. i think theres no reason for that to happen. i reckon go to makkah for pilgrimage lagi bagus.

not try to be like sooo not traditional and highly unconventional. i dont really see myself as ordinary malay.a hahahahahahha i'm love with christmas carols and my favourite happens to be all i want for christmas is you by mariah. ahahhahahah and i also memorise chestnut roasting. meaning i hafal 2 christmas songs and in the process for holy night. and also i am familiar, not really familiar but like really like this on jewish folk song.a hahahahhahahahah
i'm eclectic i know.

Me never can be serious

to help my hard to sleep syndrome, though i felt sleepy as i type now yet i still cant really fell asleep becoz of the weirdness of me, i wanna tell a story. the function of storytelling at this kinda hour is to kill the time. chop chop.

lets go back in time where Ramadhan is, supposed to be was coz history but i'm forever. cut it ok. now, back to the cerita. in english lecture in varsity, one day the miss lecturer finds that everyone is like sooo lifeless and she ended up having a game, the traditionally old poison box. where she somehow involuntarily volunteer to use her pencil bag to put in sheets with dares in it. like usual i act like a monkey. jumping up and down up and down coz its a game. whatever the game started. the catch, should one cant fullfil the dare, he will be punished to stand on table and to sing. and out of nowhere the psychotic adrenalinatic ramadhan of me took over and i cried in joy. plenty were shocked. and like usual i was questioned back on my misbehavings. i replied "it will be the greatest honour of me to be standing on top of the tables to perform". yeah. i did

alteration was done and my punishment was to be in the toilet if i failed the dares. i am the kind of person that will do whatever it takes to be energetic. wrong wrong. i will do watever to lay out my energetic me. some call it attention desperabitch but its natural. i got known by this natural behaviour. i was somehow known by peeps in varsity even those i never met by my zapin performance. arrghhhh. some who can recall on this, feel free to do so. my zapin turned out to be dangdut. more like belly dancing. ahahahhahahahah on stage and i've to perform 3 times due to some bloody mishap with the sound system. meaning triple dose of belly dancing, hip stirring performance. and i dont bother. i make mistake. and i was the joke of the semester. and i'm not serious. i take it as an honour. ahahahhaahhahahah

like during the stupid compulsory marching every wednesday that turned out to be FUN, i accidentally pee-d coz i cant tahan to laugh, to listen to the command of the commander. oh my word, the commander like soo old still can shout like hell. mismatch.

some said its hyperactiveness and i like it. if anyone out there can dare me to do crazy things except consuming those ugly things, please do so. but you need to pay for it. fried rice or i dunno. any dishes that fullfil my belly. pizza will never gonna do the trick. so if you wanna treat me, a plate of nasik goreng is more desirable to my sight. i dun believe all those shit saying eyes eat first. nooooooooooooooooo my mouth does.

stop on the food. i cant be serious. i wonder when i have kids. how will i be??????
i will strip. if you ask me nicely anaahahahahhahahah. and treat me with good hainanese chicken rice. wongga wongga

My Circumcision Experience ahahahah

stoooooooooooooooooooopid
stoooooooooooooooooooopid mozilla firefox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i already type the whole story and it simply shut down to update the software.
if i can swear as much as i can on this post i will tapi...... relax calm. Think Allah. Astaghfirullah hal azim

the previous one was filled with positive emotions and integrity now, all my mood already drained out. i try to retell the whole story. Fcuk. french connection ahahhahahaha

where should i start. dun guys perasan like every kid around you were circumcised, in this school break season? like this particular school break? like this year. to cut short due to kesakitan hati that has taken over me, i would like to jump straight to how i as circumcised.

as a kid to be closed to cousins coz they simply terrorise my house every school break, maybe becoz i live in apartment and got swimming pool and some of them live in bentong, soo evil of me, all of my cousins, the guys if some of u guys just dun get it, has already circumcised at young age. once an ustazah asked the boys who havent circumcised to stand up, and it was a complete embarrasement. where the heck are u rite now ustazah? i wish i can pound you but i love you. whatever. on holy day, i went to my mama and did the most unimaginable thinggy, "ma, biler adek nak sunat?"

i dunno wat got into me but i was a warrior, wongga wongga for being sooo brave to ask such inquiries. in whatever the date is in december or november of 2000, i got circumcised.

finish. like the story already ended. ok rewind. i woke up early, was rushed to the clinic with my bro coz parents just love to rush things. went in to the bilik pembedahan or something. by the way the clinic name is klinik metro in usj8, subang jaya, feel free to visit to experience the ......
okay get back to story. i went in with kain pelekat, a kampung tradition still stuck to this day. ye lah how a circumcised fella to be expected to wear pants pulak kan. so i stripped. ahahahhaha ooowwww can see my down part. my father was there inside the room. the utmost embarrasement of all is that the assistant was, were actually ladies. alot tau arrrghhhh. memalukan. i was like just get the session started NOW!!!!

the doc did some cleaning of the ***** sound soo vulgar ahahahahahha. by the way the doc wore harley davidson like clothes wearing biker when he circumcise me. it was totally awkward. to wear total denim with bandana and cut kids' ***** ahahahhahaha. the most painful. the doc injected penahan sakit serum or some chemical to numb my *****. painful it was. 6 of them. sakettt gyler. and he cuts. and he cuts and he cuts and he cuts. dont be fool by some stupid adults, saying its not gonna hurt. it did. pain ok. like cutting ur armpit with a knife. and the doc said i bleed more than my bro. yuck yuck yuck ok i'm done

not yet. still got stitching to be done ahahahhahahaha. weird. the feeling was just sooo wrong. and finally...... I'M DONE! fuuhhh sigh of relief. the first look at my ***** ahahhahaah, it looked like hell, the ugliest sight i ever get from looking at my body part. ewwww ewwww ewwww

went home, abit odd coz it was the day of the first cardcaptor sakura to be aired. ahahahahahah
and next thing, for the rest of the week, i just lie down on the mattress. and i truly hate visitors. i did. the kelakar part of the surgery is that my bandage fell off and i dont have to open it afterwards coz after 3 days i nid to go to the doc to open the bandage and it will be hell painful but i dun have it sooo i'm the luckiest kid around at that time ahahhahahahahah. like winning mister universe by having to drink steroid for muscle weird thinggy ahahahhahahahahah

to the ladies, the wound or stitchings or whichever comes first will heal 7 days or less, applied to how much medications you take and how much cream you put on. but the real healing is after a year. to know whats the real healing is, ask the man, ur bf or bro or father ke whoever got circumcised before. ahhahahahahahah goodluck asking them. wongga wongga!!!

and the best part of the story, i didnt freaked out even a second during the whole process. not once. even my fatha as a kid he escaped his circumcision once and got caught by the villagers. ahahahhahaha. but now, almost anything can simply freak me out

If my life is a living catalog

i would like to make a statement to all bodies or companies or n'importe qui thats flies out flyers, more of catalogs, that i truly appreciate u guys for the effort made. i know its hard to start a business its like tryin to bring peeps to actually read ur blorg but most of them r artificially malaas. sounds sooo desperate laaa ok now back to story.

i came accross harvey norman catalog for i dunno recession sale i guess and i started to wonder, if my life, like wat i really wanna do just involves catalog. sounds like coool ahahahha wtv

opening the catalog, instead of arrays of plasma full HD tv's and stuff, you can actually select your own house. more like houses, for greedy me. errrmmm and everythin is absolutely free ahahahaha. becoz like usual its my blog and i can simply say things thats actually satisfy meself on whatever meself wanted. Next.... ensuite

turning down to page 2, ahahahhahahahah instead of selections of hifi and dvd players, its the wife section!! yeahhhh i reallly need this one. you can choose either slim type, fat ass ke, fair complexion orr whatever that you desire. you can also choose numbers of limbs that you can attach to your dream wife. ahahahahha soooo barbaric i know. errrmmmm wait there's a catch. if you wanna alter any parts that attract the opposite gender, i used gender instead of sex coz some weird asses are just soo dumb they think sex is more of s.e.x. its gender sex. carry on. oh snapp, instruction of the terms and condition applies has stated:

• to increase a cup size of the front mountain ahahahhahahah, some surchange will be applicable according to the need of ones that desire it. ewww like the men has to undergone like some test to ... you know.... to.... you know ahahhahahaahha
• another way to compensate the surcharge of the front mountain ahahahhaha, is to trade the junk in the trunk. which means the ass

eww got mountain yet no backside. i'll just stick with the surcharge. hello men needs to do what men needs to do. i know it sounds sooo freaky but i dunno how to complete this sentence. it is like that.

Blah blah blah.... finally we come to the last page. which i myself need to figure out. okay,
age of your marriage and number of offsprings expected.

i got this crazy planning like i really wanna get married early not just for the intimate pleasure but other pleasures as well like errmmmm having kids, yet in-laws naturally be the craziest bunch of malau to ever exist in your life. and i planned to have 6 kids. yeah the more the merrier. betul. see some couples yg anak siket like 2 or anak tunggal. what happen if like the daughter simply go n kawin lari in lombok, dah hilang sorang, we need back up people, lotsa lotsa lotsa of them. work work work ahahahhahahahahahahh this post might be abit provocative but its my blorg. the romieness has oozzes out wongga wongga

I cant really sleep much

Alhamdulillah with the demand of The Pujaans from friends around me. establishment of this blog is for u guys, which are highly considered as friends dun u go around toying about me forgetting my friends coz its not gonna be one. as free as i am, i will update the drama once daily and other posts come along, which means alot of posts coz i talk alot and i say alot and i eat alot yet i cant really sleep that alot. Here's the story. ahahahah my story coz its my blorg ahahahahha its mine ahahahah. yeah mine.

The usaha that i made to help my sleep craving which never really exist and i do sleep like normal and yet i wanna sleep like in the evening due to having the enviousity (the word is soo wrong) that my bro can simply sleep within any condition faced at any moment in his life.

Everyday after school its effortless for him, to be able to sleep, not like a nap tau, he sleep more like a sleeper.a ahahahahhaha. he just lie down on the mattress and within seconds, he starts to snore. i was like.......... maaan how did he? i tried to sleep and yet sooo hard cannot sleep so easily

even at night pun rather hard, on usual basis i'll be in concious and imagining about my future like will i grow 6cm taller or what should i eat for the nex morning to enable me to sleep. 1 hour to make myself fall asleep. lately once my sleep is interrupted, thats it, sleepless night for the night.

such crazy cases like my friend tia who is sooo deceptively concious while sleeping during lectures even sitting at the front row, she never get caught. i was like wow she can sleep while sitting upright... weirdnye. once she felt asleep during kawad. Ya Allah dats sooo well blessed. and madame merah told me she felt asleep when she drove her ride to KL. and did crashed the divider. ahahhahaha but HOW DID PEOPLE SIMPLY FALL ASLEEP?

another weird side of me is that if i'm just tooo sleeepy, i cant sleep. bcoz i'm too sleepy. freakin bizzare fact that is but its sooo true.

I think i just need to be more grateful in life coz compared to people around me, i'm sooo energetic like having a reservoir of adrenaline in my body or something that keep be driving nuts. not la soo crazy but more of like hyperactive. thats why i choose to blorg, to spend the multiplication of energy on something beneficial. aahahhahahaahah

i cant really sleep tonight coz i just slept. hypocrite!!! i say i cannot sleep ahahahahahha

p/s: if anyone own a recipe or two on how to make people simply sleep, share it soo. no chemical involved coz i'm sooo sceptical on it. muahahahahahahah seee i will always end up the line with a laugh. ahahahha. ahahahahha. cant help it ahahahahahah. muke ketat losers ahahahahahha

Episod 1 of The Pujaans: Saratambal & The Magical Kaloi

Top notes: before i start the the highly anticipated blorg drama, The Pujaans, in a very gedik way, i just wanna toast a shout out to madame merah, where the heck is lorong nagasari? u said its near bkt bintang, tak jumpe pun. ahahahahahhahaha

• I will post the lagu pembukaan for the the drama later on la

what a fine day. more of a fine morning actually. as a narrator i can just simply intervene the storyline at any moment to exude the ramadhanness of the drama ahahahhahahah. it was a fine morning, no no no i want dusk. ok wtv it will be 7.30 pm. no 7.30 a.m

saratambal stretches out before making a day full ahead with pains in the arms and legs. to push her trolley of nasik lemak from her place in lorong nagasari to the place wtv la the place where she sell her nasik lemak. pity the lass, fired from her dream career as air hostess after the fateful attempt to crush in a bus with 3 other friends ( to kno the real story about the bus story u can simply ask her from the saratambal link at the side )

little that she know is that a new location by a mystical pond near the rambutan tree will be a suitable side to lay down the nasik lemak trolley. sadness arises in her face, for not be able to fly on daily basis. "apalah nasibku tuhan, ikot cakap kawan, memang seronok kena buang koje pulak" said the tambal girl. "anak ku anak ku sayaaanggg" an ugly toady voice resurface from the pond. its the magical kaloi.

"kaloi sang kaloi, adakah nasibku ini tidak terubat, haruskah aku melara sebegini?"
"tidak anakku, akan hadir seorg jejaka tampan yg akan menemani benak hidupmu"
" benarkah, kaloi? bila, bila bila akan jejaka itu muncul"
"sebentar lagi"
"hoi, pukul berapa nok? aku malas kot nak tunggu lama lama" replied sara furiously
" kau bungkus kan sebungkus nasik lemak berlaukkan rendang kerang"
" hak??? kau tau aku berniaga nasik lemak kaloi?"
"kau ingat aku x nampak ke pompuan? lepas tuh suapkan aku nasik lemak itu, muhahahahah"

Lahanat punya ikan, aku .............................. ( u kno wat will sara say rite ahahahhahah )

out of the blues, came a guy, macho i guess, hairy he is and jawa definitely to reach her hand and to ask her, "nasik lemak rendang kerang ke?"

Sara cant believe her eyes. " jantan tuh betul betul datang, wongga wongga!!! eaahaaahh!! macho berbulu disukai ramai tapi dia milik aku ya ahahahahahahahaha. alamak terkentut. oopss"

on episode 2, the awakening truth of lorong nagasari........

if u really wanna kno how macho is emal, down there is his pic, he's really hairy u kno
once i saw him shirtless and its like jungle ahahahahhaahhahahahahahaha his back is even worse
ahahahahahahhaha sorry emal