List of Petua petua orang tua

This post is requested by ( jeng jeng jeng ) : Atiyyah!!! my dearest pal, classmate by the way when i was still living and breathing in uitm penang ahaha. she supposed to further in medicine studies tapi pahal tah stranded in culinary arts course. i escaped. like always ahaha. and she's finishing too!! cant believe it. she hardly knows how to handle the chef knife and now she's creating wonders!!. anyone willing to propose to her and marry her, u can do so by hitting me on facebook with tonnes of moolahs in your pocket ahahaha

enough of her, this is my blorg, get out ahahahhaa. she knows me. i torture people with words. my speciality ahahaa. she requested:

"blorg la tentang petua-petua orang dulu"

and i was like, " kau nak kawen laki tua ke?" ahhaaha. ok basically i know how to put words in an arrangement that will agitate one's heart ahaha. but i basically dun really know much about petua2 ni. i need to do my research first. yahoo search. not google. google boring boo. ok found one:

• Jaga mulut atasnya. Maksudnya jaga makan minumnya. ( what kinda crap talking?)
• Jaga mulut bawahnya. Maksudnya jagalah kemahuan seksnya. ( wadda?? )

ohh shit its a 18sx petua untuk rumah tangga ahahha. ok next page pliz

'petua orang dulu dulu jaga kemaluan' WHAT???, next page.............

ok got it, good one if ur attending beauty pageant ahaha as said in the website

• if ur attending a beauty pageant n out of nowhere chicken pox happens, try drink the young coconut juice and it will supress the pox b4 the pageant.

honestly speaking, golden age wisdom dont really seems to work these days. can they like prepare for what's catered for their grandchildren for the next hundred years?? as it seen it only functional if ur gonna participate in beauty pageant. yeah yeah last time its like tonnes of ratu kebaya contests going on and fuhhh ladies from the past got the curves dat will erupt an erection and yes it has extincted. even now malays are forbid to be in miss malaysia whatsoever beauty pageant. maybe it will be effective for dewi remaja and hero remaja competition?? i cant be in it im fat ahahahaha.

• tips mengelakkan minyak terpecik ketika goreng: masukkan garam ke dalam minyak terlebih dahulu sebelom menggoreng

i just cant find the rationale behind this finding ahahaha. oil and salt. errmmm as i know salt can dehydrate and make a liquid more viscous, if there's presence of water. but its oil. ermmmm are u sure bout that. take my words. cover ur frying pan with something while frying something ahaha. or tips on not to burn ur skin while handling with chillies. simply dun touch it with bare hand. cover it up with sumthin, reindeer skin cooking gloves or something ahahahah.

• paling tak boleh blah: jangan menyanyi semasa memasak, nanti dikhuatiri kawen lambat. what?????

just set the record straight. the person who derived this "petua" is a spinster or an andartu la in simple language. due to ur hobby in the kitchen, u put it all to blame for singing in the kitchen while cooking? or issit ur voice is not in the attractive range ahahaha. if barbecue is considered cooking, cannot sing issit? better what more people outdoor. we need to entertain ourselves.

moral of the story: dun simply come out with crazy bullshitty petua's that will haunt ur offsprings. ahaha like x boleh masuk tandas masa azan berkumandang. meaning i cant perform my ablution?? crazy people crazy ideas ahaha